


Permutation

by LadyKeane



Category: Ed Edd n Eddy, Powerpuff Girls
Genre: Crossover, Hero Worship, M/M, No underage, One Shot, One-Sided Attraction, University, poor clueless prof, puppy crushing edd boy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-07
Updated: 2018-10-07
Packaged: 2019-07-27 20:51:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,671
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16227101
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LadyKeane/pseuds/LadyKeane
Summary: An adolescent Edd, on his first morning as a student at Townsville U, bumps into his mentor and hero.





	Permutation

**PERMUTATION  
A Powerpuff Girls/Ed Edd  & Eddy crossover**  
  
_No-one can stand unmoved in solitude without feeling that there is more in man than the mere breath of his body. Of individual objects, perhaps no one is as sure to create astonishment, than the first sight in his native haunt, of a real barbarian—of man in his lowest & most savage state. One's mind hurries back over past centuries, & then asks: Could our pregenetors be such as these? Men whose very signs & expressions are less intelligible to us than those of the domesticated animals; who do not posess the the instinct of those animals, nor yet appear to boast of human reason, or at least of arts consequent on that reason…_  
_It has been said that the love of the chase is an inherent delight in man—a relic of an instinctive passion: if so, I am sure the pleasure of living in the open air, with the sky for a roof, and the ground for a table, is part of the same feeling. It is the savage returning to his wild and native habits. I always look back to our boat cruises & my land journeys through unfrequented countries with a kind of extreme delight, which no scenes of civilisation could create._  
  
—Charles Darwin, The Voyage of The Beagle (published 1839).  
  
Along the wide herringbone footpath, wending his way so as to avoid the chaotic scatter of soggy, fallen maple leaves, Edd entered Townsville University.

  
It was a fizzling, overtired feeling of giddy excitement that kept him alert, in addition to the caffienated soda he'd consumed as a stand-in breakfast. It had been an early start and a long commute to reach the city of Townsville. This lonely new ritual stood in disparity against the ease of dawdling to the local high school back in Peach Creek. Casting his mind back to previous school years, Edd fondly recalled details of this ritual: ensuring his shirt was tucked in, and politely ignoring Ed's irreverent musings, while Eddy doled out mean rations of candy, sweaty from the plastic bag from which he plucked them.

  
A mere sixteen years old, and Edd was already a university freshman, setting out on his pursuit of a Bachelor's degree from one of the most exalted scientific institutions in the country. Mother had suggested placing more impetus on his applications to MIT, Princeton, Berkeley, and perhaps even consider applying to Johns Hopkins. But the idea of studying at this smaller, somewhat more specialised body of higher learning stirred a deep delight within him that no other prospect could equal.

  
That Summer, he had taken on a temporary position as a laboratory assistant in Pokey Oaks, one of Townsville's outlying municipalities. Each Wednesday, Thursday and Friday, as the sprawl of suburbia sweltered, Edd would descend into the cool bright confines of a basement workshop clad in white wall panels and a spotless tiled floor. He spent these hours observing and documenting the fragile and intricate life cycle of a dearth of protein strands. As the cells blossomed, multiplied, withered and finally perished under his vigilant eye, he took care of each specimen with a strange mix of presicion and tenderness. These organic structures, altered and toyed with in a great many ways by Edd's mentor, surprised, delighted and confounded the boy with their variety of permutations. In many small ways, each undulation of the microscopic subjects defied the established laws of nature. The genius behind these biochemical innovations, and the man under whom Edd was working, was Professor John Utonium.

  
The articles about this man from  _Scientific American_  alone numbered enough to fill a stout A3 sized scrapbook. And such a scrapbook was only one of many that Edd had dedicated to collecting information about his hero, including his published papers, newspaper articles and all sorts of glossy miscellany besides. A large portion of these were dedicated to what was no doubt Utonium's greatest and most famous creation: the Powerpuff Girls. His three super-powered daughters had been born in the very laboratory that Edd had had the privelege of working in, and their astounding abilities had ensured their father's place in the annals of scientific history. 

  
The research that Utonium had been conducting that Summer, in fact, had been the analysis of the biological make-up of the Powerpuff Girls' arch-rival, the hideously mutated criminal Mojo Jojo. During a recent altercation between the girls and their enemy, one of the formidable children had torn away a chunk of the chimpanzee's fur, and Utonium endeavoured to put such a serendipitous find to good use. He posited that since Mojo had been created in the same chemical paroxysm that birthed Utonium's offspring, the villain's altered genetics and enlarged brain had not only resulted from the inexplicable, mercurial substance known as Chemical X, but also from a sample of Utonium's own DNA. Given the biological similarities between homo sapiens and chimpanzees, it was not inconceivable that the Chemical X in the reaction could somehow have fused the substance of man and ape. Well, if there was indeed an aspect of Utonium that was admissibly animal, Edd mused that it must have been completely undetectable. 

  
Perhaps as a disciple of all things systematic and rational, Edd was a poor judge of character and aesthetics. Most of the kids at his old school certainly seemed to favour idols of a darker and messier creed. But a childhood spent in the company of Mother's silver screen melodramas and Ed's atomic-age monster movies had left Edd with a certain predilection for heroes with strong jawlines, elegantly groomed hair and genteel mannerisms. The graceful angles of Utonium's straight nose and high cheekbones, as well as his gentle baritone and his charming habit of sucking on his ebony pipe when thinking, were things that Edd beheld with silent pleasure. In the afternoons they would ascend the laboratory stairs and partake in late lunches at the kitchen table. As his kinetic daughters bounced noisily about him, Utonium remained a figure of masculine poise and serenity, the perfect cultivated gentleman in a troubled landscape overcome by monsters, hooligans and frenetic pint-sized super-heroines. And whenever he realised he'd been staring too long, Edd would avert his nervous gaze from the pair of kindly, weary blue eyes across from him.

  
Edd fumbled about in his duffel bag. He produced a well-handled copy of his weekly class schedule. Even though he had promptly committed it to memory after receiving it, he hungrily absorbed the fine, formatted text once again:  
  
Mon 0900—1100: LECTURE Evolutionary Biology 101. Building C, Theater G11. Conducted by Professor John Utonium.  
Mon 1300—1600: TUTORIAL Evolutionary Biology 101. Building X, Laboratory 1D. Conducted by Professor John Utonium.  
  
What poor undergraduate at MIT or Berkeley could ever boast such happy fortune?

  
Well, perhaps being under the tutelage of such an icon wasn't the only advantage of studying at Townsville. As the campus was only one county over from Peach Creek, Edd was able to remain at home. Not only would he be able to see his friends, but he had thankfully dodged the uncomfortable option of residing at a college. Edd was already small and slight for his age, and the notion of cohabiting with herds of large, drunken, haphazard young adults was less than agreeable. As he understood it, these creatures did not take kindly to the studious and the diligent, opting to persecute them with midnight pranks and hard paddles. Edd had enough trouble with bullies his own age, at least when he was without the protection of the more robust Ed and Eddy. Even one semester in such a dank wilderness would have been enough to reduce him to a quivering wreck.

  
"Why, Eddward! Welcome to Townsville University!"  
Edd recoiled a little. His idol had shifted from being a miasmic daydream to a real physical entity: the man stood before him with a soft smile and a hand extended for a handshake. There was something disconcerting about his appearance—some elements of Utonium's aspect were noticeably different from his presence in the lab that Summer. The slight Autumn breeze had rendered his usually impeccably combed hair a little ruffled. The exercise of walking about the campus had imbued his noble cheekbones with a ruddy glow. A few coarse black arm hairs had spilled out of the sleeve of his outstretched hand. In fact, Edd now noticed, in place of the pristine white lab coat Utonium usually wore were a pair of jeans and a faun bomber jacket. Nonetheless, the familiar ease of his good manners and his gentle countenance were more than enough to reconcile these subtle contrasts.

  
"Good morning, Professor." The man's firm, large hand was also a little sweaty.  
"I am to understand you'll be in the Evolutionary Biology lessons today?"  
Edd clutched the base of his duffel bag. "Yes, sir. I'm looking forward to it very much".  
"Excellent! I think I can safely say that you'll enjoy our first unit of study—I've noticed how interested you are by microorganisms. Perhaps your conscientiousness will set a good example for some of your older classmates." Here he chuckled lightly.  
"Yes, sir." The brisk Autumn air stung Edd's cheeks.  
"Well then, I'm off to my office. I'll see you in the lecture theatre. Good luck, Eddward!"

  
He started sauntering away up the path through the complex of stone buildings, blithely waving goodbye with the same large, firm, slightly sweaty hand Edd had touched.  
His eyes followed the retreating form. The rule was, after such a handshake, Edd must always wipe his hand clean with one of the packaged towelettes that he constantly carried with him. It was with an automated, habitual, almost painful reflex that he now opened his bag, produced one of these white sterilised squares of fabric, removed it from its plastic wrapping and scraped it across the pale skin of his palm, still faintly warm from the brief physical contact.

  
He put the cloth back in his bag and, alone, proceeded to the lecture theatre.

**Author's Note:**

> This was going to be the intro to a multi-chapter work about Edd's hopeless crush, complicated by Blossom crushing on Edd himself and culminating in him relinquishing the infatuation to end up with a Eddy (who is jealous af of the prof). As it turns out, I am lazy and plagued by writer's block. I still like this as a standalone piece.


End file.
